The Kidling is a really terrific human being, but she is not a good listener. Please note the italics. “Not a good listener” is fundamentally different from “Not a good listener.” Trust me on this.
Now, once upon a time The Kidling was neither a good hearer nor a good listener. We shoved some tubes in those little kidling ears of hers and fixed all that. Now she has no excuse. Which is good, because she doesn’t bother making them. Oh no, The Kidling ignores The Mama and The Dada with malice aforethought and wanton disregard for the mental well-being of The Parents.
This is all, of course, one very long synonym for “naughty.” And as many of you know, “naughty” is simply a very short synonym for ”four-year old.” So why am I selling out The Kidling for the whole world to see (and by “the whole world” I really mean the 100 or so of you who will stop by the book of alice today)?
Because The Kidling is a liar.
Yeah yeah, I know. I can hear you all gasping in the blogosphere: ”But Christine! Alice is sweet, charming, funny, clever, wise, loving, strong, brave, and witty.” I wholeheartedly agree. But she is also a
big, fat small, skinny liar.
Liar Liar Pants on Fire.
Want proof? We spent last weekend at a campground with The Mama’s family. One of her very sweet cousins was being a stinker at dinner time. Alice peered down the picnic table at him before declaring to her grandfather, “He’s not following directions. It is important to follow directions. I always follow directions.”
I call bullshit, Alice Munchkin Kidling. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.