You have probably heard this before, but The Mama loves her cruciferous vegetables.

And beans.

And green juices.

Which is all to say that I can be a bit… well… gassy. This should come as no surprise to regular readers. “Flatulence” shows up on my list of commonly used tags. And for good reason! See here and here. It should be a little embarrassing. But whatever. The Mama has a body to take care of. If that means I have to be stinky, so be it.

Yeah. Take that, olfactory glands.

Anyway…  I was particularly fragrant one recent evening (which is saying something), and Alice thought there might be a way for me to prevent some of the stinkiness I was inflicting on The Family.

I am indeed raising an optimist.

First, she commanded me to “Flip over on [my] back!”

The better to contain the stench, my Mama.

Then she had a more lasting solution, “Dad’s going to take a giant step. Like THIS! (stomps) Then it’s going to shoot you out of the house and you’ll toot outside!”

I can get on board with that.