Tag Archives: television

and the programming gods frowned

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Sometimes it just seems they* are out to get you.

It seems as though any time The Kidling gets out of bed after we tuck her in, The Dada and I are watching television.

Strike one. Alice adores television.

Thankfully, we are usually watching something boring like the news or a “grown-up show,” which in Kidlingish is anything that is not 1) animated or 2) Sesame Street.

Safe.

But Friday night, They had us on their shit list. On that fine evening, The Dada and I had debated a bedtime snack for Alice but decided against it. We agreed that if she got out of bed we would get her something quick and healthy, but were certain we were going to avoid that happening. Because The Mama is an optimist and sometimes I even fool The Dada.

Then Alice came downstairs with an empty stomach.

Ball. We did expect this. And we had a plan. But… we were watching television. And it was the Olympics.

Strike two. Alice loves watching sports on television.

Then it was commercial time. Thank goodness. Right? Umm, no. Because the good folks at NBC decided during that particular commercial break to show a bit featuring The Lorax. A damn animated, ethical, adorable THING. Sunuvagun. The Dada and I exchanged looks. Seriously? Again? This, dear readers, has happened before. But we knew it would end in about 30 seconds. Whew.

Right? No way. That sloth commercial. That damn adorable sloth commercial. I don’t even know what it is for: a car? Insurance? A phone? Who cares, because there is a damn adorable sloth. And, of course, Alice adores sloths.

Strike three. We are out.

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* “They” are anyone and everyone. The Man, the universe, your boss, those damned yellow lights, the doughnuts that appeared next to the coffee at work with no explanation…

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why we watch public television

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The Kidling loves television. Just like every other child I know. Unlike every other child; however, her parents are cheap (that’s c.h.e.a.p. cheap; not the regular type). This means you can count the number of channels we get on two hands. Really. In fact, you can count the number of good channels we get on three fingers. This, of course, means that you can count the number of channels that Alice gets to watch on one finger.

Not that finger.

When a child gets to watch just one channel, that channel is inevitably PBS. Or, as Alice says, “PPS Kids.”

I have always thought we watched it for the programming. I know I am not the only parent who loves (loves!) Sid the Science Kid and Dinosaur Train. After this weekend, though, another benefit has emerged.

The Kidling, The Dada, and The Mama went mattress shopping this weekend. What does this have to do with PBS? Hold your horses. I’ll get to that. Since I am the lucky family member to have a seriously wacky back (my chiropractor calls it “artistic”), I had the honor of laying on all the beds while Alice and The Dada entertained themselves. Mattress shopping is not a quick endeavor. After six hours, we found ourselves at a store that sells Tempur-Pedic mattresses. Here, Alice and The Dada discovered a little area with a super-fancy, top-of-the-line, we-could-never-afford-it mattress and a television touting the benefits of the This Costs More Than Your Law School Loan Payment mattress.

I called Alice out to try out a few mattresses for herself. I didn’t get a straight answer on any of them, but my favorite response was, “This one is too hard. And too soft!”

So why are we sticking with PBS? When I told Alice she was finished trying out the (much cheaper) bed, she raced back to the corner with the fancy bed singing “Tem-puuuur-peeeee-diiiiic!” the whole way back. Then she told The Dada, “A bed should do more.” Yep. That’s their tag line. My kid is officially brainwashed.

This, dear readers, is why we watch public television. No commercials to mess with The Kidling’s perfectly wacky little head.